amvans's Blog

Musings from a confirmed "Technical Difficulty"


Originally Posted by: Marie Vans on Friday, August 18, 2006 at 2:21am

Coming from the US and most recently from Colorado where there are practically no bugs to speak of, one of the issues I’ve had to deal with is my fear of big, disgusting bugs. I’ve seen spiders the size of…. something really big and scary, ants ranging in size between a grain of salt and the diameter of a quarter, scarab beetles (best known for the iridescent green body and typically found as jewelry in the west), praying mantises the length of a BIC pen, among lots of others. But by far the worst are the Sarsou-er, or, as we know them: the cockroach.

These are not the typical cockroach because for one thing they can fly. For another the adults can grow to something like 6 to 8 inches. When you accidentally step on them in dark in your bare feet (which I have done) they pop. They run faster than a mouse and are difficult to catch when they spot you. No matter how clean your house is, some will invariably find their way in and cruise all over the countertops and stove. Just the idea of these things wandering all over places where I put food make me want to sterilize the kitchen with bleach…and I don’t use bleach for any reason. There’s a reason why I love geckos and encourage them to hang out at my place.

These gigantic garbage-eating, germ infested creatures are usually only a problem in the summer when it gets warm. In a typical year we spray once after seeing a couple and for a few days after that we find a few full-grown adults and lots of babies, flat on their backs, trembling legs in the air but unable to escape the cleanup. After that, we don’t usually see any more for the rest of the season.

This year has been very different. We’ve sprayed twice now and still they come. I surprise them in the sink (after which they get a free ride down to the sewer), I find them on the stove, on the curtains, in the bathroom. They’ve suddenly become a major topic of discussion (remember that our favorite hobby is talking) with visitors. It turns out that most people, ourselves included, started seeing them in large numbers right after the war began. They were coming out of the ground all over the place…apparently something never seen before by most people around here. So this begs a question. Did the cockroaches (said to be the only living creature able to survive the worst of conditions, and believed to be the only one that would survive Armageddon) come out because the explosions disturbed them from their underground nests? Or, did they come up thinking there would be lots more to eat?

Ok, so I’ve totally grossed myself out now and I think I should quit there.


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